forgetting is part of the algorithm
the following to be adhered to strictly in calculations and other problem-solving operations
winning means you get to forget
or maybe instead that you have to
wake up over and over and over on a beach in goa
every microsecond, every millimeter, the slightest movements and distant gestures
rehearsing with total precision what you encountered the day before
running quickly such that your footprints aren’t lost to the tide
carefully placing each new impression in its previous abode
forgetting is part of the calculation
it is steady like a hand in the dark
reaching out to pull you through a hallway lined with doors to rooms all unlit
you won’t remember even if you could see them
it’s neither unfriendly nor unpolite
forgetting begins when you can cross out an image you tacked up before you realized you were already inside, and tacked up yourself, not realizing the chorus had started around you, singing a song you thought you didn’t know, but you later realize you were queuing from the green room, waiting for the directors wand, too, and hitting every note with micro hz of precision, keeping time with your feet
every once in a while, a cleanse is required, if only to allow our friends and associates to succeed us, unblemished by our records, washing each others feet (hands, arm pits, groins, and navels)
i spent last saturday alone in my bathtub taking lines of ketamine from a mirror so small it must have been originally made for some type of american girl doll
i remember
the water was a sea of tomatoes and my feet curved in foreshortening
it was dignified to give out candies, smile, and bat at whatever floated above
care is distance in this case
i know very well i’m outside
baby names i love but won’t be using
i have to cleanse so you don’t lose faith
we’ll have to do it over and over again
you’ll need to forget and to cleanse your palette
“blowback is a system of operation for self-loading firearms that obtains energy from the motion of the cartridge case as it is pushed to the rear by expanding gas created by the ignition of the propellant charge.” (Eyre et al.)
memory is of having had, at one point, held something in mind
but it’s easier to unburden
everything is out of the blue or associated press photo archives of the iraq war
“the state doesn’t care. the state feeds him and watches over him in silence. and it puts this giant cohort of essentially useless writers to use. how? it exorcizes demons, it alters the national climate or at least tries to sway it. it adds layers of lime to a pit that may or may not exist, no one knows for sure. not that it’s always this way, of course.” [Bolaño 121]
amnesia is a careful self learning
works cited:
Bolaño, Roberto. 2666: A Novel. Translated by Natasha Wimmer, London, Pan/Picador, 2015. Google Books, https://books.google.com.mx/books/about/2666.html?id=6SIBDAAAQBAJ&redir_esc=y. Accessed 19 May 2023.
Denver, Daniel. “Blowback with Brendan James and Noah Kulwin.” The Dig, James,Brendan and Kulwin,Noah, 17 Apr 2020. iTunes app.
Eyre, George E., et al. “Blowback (firearms).” Wikipedia, 30 April 2023, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blowback_(firearms). Accessed 19 May 2023.
